There are lots of really great birth control options out there but I have to say my hands-down, all-around favorite is a vasectomy. One, guys need to do heavier lifting with birth control in general. (All you guys who’ve stepped up and snipped, we salute you.) Two, it’s quick, easy, and just about as effective as it can possibly get. But TikTok creator Jenna (@ifitwerentfunny), an ultrasound technician with more than a decade of experience, has a message for the men out there about the importance of sticking the landing when it comes to vasectomies.
They’re only highly effective if you get all of your follow-up care.
“I have scanned more vasectomy babies than I can count. It’s not just a handful. It’s not even two handfuls. It’s a lot of vasectomy babies,” she says, before continuing. “Men: you have got to go. You have got to go in and get that semen analysis. I think there’s two that are mandatory. It’s right after and then, I don’t know, six months? Go to both of them. And then, what’s even better is when you go for your annual physical, you ask your doctor to put in another order for another one, every year. Because fun fact: that tube can re-canalize. It can open back up again.”
Still not convinced? Jenna has another thought before you go.
“Do you know how pissed your wife is going to be? If she left this up to you and then she gets pregnant? You’re going to have to move out of the house. Anyway, just do that. Do it. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
This is indeed an issue. Last year, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation found that one-quarter of the patients they followed never returned to submit even one semen sample. Half didn’t have a second done. The study found that doctors simply making the appointment for patients, rather than telling them to just stop by with a sample in a given period, increased patient participation.
The American Urological Association recommends a first semen analysis between 8 and 16 weeks after the procedure. Repeat tests may be required after that if there is still sperm present in a given sample. Though re-canalization is rare — about one in 10,000 cases — routine tests should be conducted thereafter to ensure ongoing efficacy.
When all procedures are followed, vasectomy is one of the most reliable forms of birth control available with a nearly 100% efficacy rate. But those procedures are important. It takes at least two months for semen to be sperm-free. Moreover, patients must ejaculate 20 times before having semen tested to clear out any remaining sperm — truly, God gives Her toughest battles to Her strongest soldiers. In other words, you want to make sure it worked before you start having unprotected sex. So ladies, stay on the pill and/or fellas, stock up on condoms for a while longer.
While the vas defrens (aka the little tubes in the scrotum that deliver sperm into semen) can heal after being either cut or cauterized or both, this is exceedingly rare. If one becomes pregnant after a vasectomy, it is far more likely to happen because their partner did not sufficiently wait for sperm to completely leave their system.
But seriously guys, we’re literally just asking you to masturbate. This is the best errand ever. You can do this and, frankly, we shouldn’t have to convince you.
