Desi Lydic and the rest of The Daily Show’s news team takes a hard look at the answer to the question on the lips of everyone in the world – What the actual fuck, America?!
America did make history by electing the first convicted felon president, even before we elected the first female president.
However, don’t bother watching the squawking heads to explain how this possibly could have happened. Harris was too pro-Israel. Harris was too pro-Palestine. Harris was too liberal. Harris was too centrist. Of course, all these conflicting theories are immeasurably better than listening to the conservatives on Fox or any of those propagandist stations. They’ve all gone to 24/7 worship services to the Great Rapist.
Some excerpts of Lydic’s monologue:
Yeah, it’s official. America’s elected its first criminal president before electing its first female president. What a day for proud felonists.
What the actual f—, America? We have had two qualified, accomplished women nominated for president, and both times, they lost to the worst man in the whole country. It’s starting to feel like we’re going to get every other first before we get a first woman president. First Amish president. First, uh, Wahlberg president. Hey, there’s no rule that says a dog can’t be president. As long as it’s a boy dog.
Honestly, I don’t really care why she lost. I care why he won. We spent so much time diagnosing Donald Trump and what his actions say about him: He’s a dictator, he’s a fascist, he’s a malignant narcissist whose blood type is fryer oil. But it’s pretty clear that America is the one that needs the diagnosis, because whatever’s wrong with him, we f—ing love it.
In this moment, Donald Trump is holding up a mirror to the American people and it might be time to take a good f—ing hard look.
The one thing that I do know is that many of us can’t afford to take a lot of time to dwell in self-pity. Yes, take a good, long, hard look at what happened, including looking into a mirror. But then get ready to get back to work. Not only are we going to have to work hard to minimize any damage the fascists try to inflict on us, but in states such as Wisconsin, we have only a few months until the spring elections, when the Republicans are going to do whatever they can to regain control of the state supreme court.
And remember, we may not win every fight, but we can make damn sure know that they were in one.
