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We dive into the power of expressive writing with guest Aine M. Greaney, an accomplished writer. Aine shares her personal journey through caregiving, journaling, and emotional healing during a difficult time in her husband’s life. She reflects on how her writing evolved from raw rage to self-reflection, ultimately guiding her toward mercy and understanding.
Aine M. Greaney is a writer.
She discusses the KevinMD article, “Secret support for this family caregiver.”
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Transcript
Kevin Pho: Hi, and welcome to the show. Subscribe at KevinMD.com/podcast. Today we welcome Aine M. Greaney. She is a writer. Today’s KevinMD article is “Secret Support for This Family Caregiver.” Aine, welcome to the show.
Aine M. Greaney: Thank you so much, Kevin. Lovely to be here.
Kevin Pho: So let’s start by briefly sharing your story and journey.
Aine M. Greaney: Yes, I live in Massachusetts, which at the moment is beautiful with the foliage. And I, I’m originally from Ireland. And here in the United States, I kind of have two professional lives. One is as a writer and as a writing teacher, and then the other life is part time working for health care, where I’ve been for 20, oh, more than 20 years as a health care communications professional.
And then, as we’ll talk about in the article, Kevin, about seven years ago, a third facet came into my life, and that was the role of family caregiver.
Kevin Pho: Alright, so let’s talk about your KevinMD article, and I’m interested in further exploring, of course, that intersection between your writing and health care. Your KevinMD article is titled “Secret Support for This Family Caregiver.” Now, before talking about the article itself, what led you to write this article and publish it on KevinMD?
Aine M. Greaney: Well, it was a very historic day, and that is me cleaning out my home office. Or, you know, really, a day for the calendar. And I was here doing, you know, that clear out thing—keep, recycle, keep, recycle, you know, keep, shred, keep, shred—trying to make that decision. And all my old meeting calendars, they were easy, the little sticky notes by my, by both of my workstations, easy, but when it came to my bookshelves, and my bookshelves full of completed handwritten writing journals—not easy. There was something very different about them. And in one in particular, which I talk about in the article, I saw that it had little tabs attached to the pages. And it was kind of the first one on my list to move to my basement or just shred. And I said, well, that’s seven years ago, pre-pandemic. What are these little tabs all about?
So when I looked through, I realized it was from 2017, and just the end of 2016 and all of 2017 had been the year of some medical crisis in our household. And most of the entries in there were about that role of being in the hospital waiting room—in fact, you know, being in the ER twice with my husband—and just my reaction to it as a, as a suddenly plunged-into-caregiving experience.
Kevin Pho: So, as you were reading some of these old journal entries, tell us, what was going through your mind? What were these journal entries about, and what were some of the emotions that they conjured up?
Aine M. Greaney: Well, to be honest, I was very surprised at my own whiplash, you know, emotional whiplash. I was very surprised at how angry I was, and I didn’t hold back in the anger in those pages, because that’s why you do personal writing—to not hold back. But I didn’t remember—cognitively remember—being that angry, but clearly I was. And I wasn’t angry at the health care system. We had wonderful providers. And I wasn’t angry at the patient, my husband. I was angry, I think, in the article I mentioned the vicissitudes of health and the human body and that, you know, until we get to the X-ray or the MRI, it’s all a big dark secret. We don’t really know what’s going on in there, and that made me very angry, and I wrote about the anger.
The other thing I wrote, then, you know, the anger began to track in later entries. I watched it track towards a little more understanding, a little more mercy. And the cognitive process started, the brainstorming started, you know, so I went from the big spill on the page to, OK, what is this all about? What is my anger all about? And what are some resources I can bring to the table here, so that, you know, my next journal entry is a little more pleasant?
Kevin Pho: So tell me, during that difficult time, 2016, 2017, while you were going through your husband’s health care journey, what made you write in the first place? Because not everyone would do that. Tell me about the therapeutic benefit of writing, and exactly how did you—how did that help you during that difficult time?
Aine M. Greaney: Well, I had been writing in this way since I was 14. Not all the time, but certainly, you know, on and off and especially around big transitions in my life. Like, we’re a rural family, so the switch to an urban college campus was huge for me. Moving to America was huge for me. And these are times I remember when I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote. So I had a little trick up my sleeve. I knew how this was done, and why I did it, I think, was because as a non-American, I don’t have extended family in this country or in New England. So this was my release. This was my friend. This was not the person that I sat in the waiting room with, if you will. And I also kind of knew that it would give me a release and some clarity.
You know, Dr. Dan Siegel, who I think I reference—you know, he talks about, “name it to tame it.”
Kevin Pho: Sure.
Aine M. Greaney: So instead of this, you know, hurricane of feelings passing through me—because it was so new and so out of left field—in retrospect, I didn’t—I wasn’t clever enough to know it at the time, but in retrospect, I was naming it to tame it. I was giving words to my anger, which, in fact, were fear. You know, they really were fear. And I think, going back to the clinical benefits, these are well-documented. There are well over 300 clinical studies on the clinical benefits for all kinds of populations and groups—from people in recovery from surgery, from disease, to people who have been laid off from their jobs, to health care providers. So it’s well-documented.
I think what’s new, Kevin, since the pandemic that I’ve noticed is that it’s this documentation, these benefits of this kind of personal writing—they’ve come out of the clinical peer-reviewed world and into the popular journalism world. So now, I mean, there’s one wonderful quote from the Wall Street Journal—like, who knew that the Wall Street Journal would write about journaling and its physiological and psychological benefits? But they did. And I kind of credit the pandemic with that, that there was a new scramble to find resources for people out there and publish them in consumer-based journals.
Kevin Pho: You mentioned that during this journey, your writing transitioned from that of rage and fear to more, eventually, mercy. Tell us a little bit more about that transition, and did expressing yourself in these journals help you make that transition?
Aine M. Greaney: Well, I’ll answer the last part first. That was definitely the trick. That was what helped me to make that transition. Again, going back to the “name it to tame it” adage. By naming my rage, by naming my fear, I could then move onwards to, OK, what resources do I have here? People get sick, they just do, and they live to tell a different story from the illness narrative. They move on to a new narrative, so how can you do that? You know, this was the question in the later pages of that journal that I was asking myself. How can you do that? How can you take some of the resources at hand—your personal efficacy and resources—and bring them to bear here to make this a more comfortable situation so that you’re not reactive, you know, you’re much more proactive?
And in terms of the actual provider visits themselves, you know, no front desk person, no provider wants the totally freaked-out caregiver. How could I bring my own personal attributes and what I knew how to do so that I was calm enough to ask the right questions and receive the information and process it when it mattered—and that’s during the provider encounter.
Kevin Pho: So, you mentioned as part of your story, of course, you’re not only a writer, but you’re involved with health care communication for decades now. Do you encounter a lot of clinicians and physicians who also express themselves through writing? On this show, I’ve talked to a lot of physicians who found that journaling, similar to what you described, helps them with some of the difficult emotions and feelings that they encounter every day. So talk about your experience on the clinician side and their experience with writing and how writing may help them.
Aine M. Greaney: Well, I can think of one, two colleagues at the moment for whom this, like me, it parallels their kind of day job, health care provider life. I’m not a provider, as you know, so I can think of two right off the top of my head. In fact, I just thought of a third one. And then also, you know, I did notice that in KevinMD there are at least two to three essays in there with this first-person provider experience of using this as a tool.
And then, of course, you know, I cite in the article Dr. Atul Gawande, who speaks eloquently about this process, and his writing—personal writing time—is on the weekends. So I think some clinicians are using it. I think the challenge, you know, for somebody like me who stands on the border or any of us who are on that other end of health care and who have this kind of writing and wellness life is that, you know, you make sure that you’re clear about that this isn’t writing as you knew it, you know, in med school, and this isn’t “publish or perish.” You know, this isn’t peer-reviewed. This is just for you. And there may not be a product at the end of it. It’s all about the process, really, and the product is your own wellness, you know. There’s no resume piece in it.
I think that’s the distinction that, you know, when I do Lunch and Learn little sessions, I often open—not in a preachy way, I hope—with that. You know, this is not writing from high school, this is not from university, this is not peer-reviewed, and it probably won’t go on your resume, but it can also, you know.
Kevin Pho: So for those who are interested in more expressive writing, like you described—not everyone’s been doing it since they were 14, like you mentioned. What kind of tips do you have for fellow caregivers or fellow clinicians if they want to be more involved with expressive writing? What kind of tips can you share with them?
Aine M. Greaney: Well, the first thing to do is to kind of get started, and the American Heart Association actually does a great job about that, you know, teaching us how to take on a new habit in our lives. We all brush our teeth every night, I hope. You know, we all have habits inbuilt. We all eat breakfast, etc. We all take a run or a walk, most of us. But if it’s a new habit, they do a good job about talking about how to bring a new habit into your life.
And I think with that mindset, if you think of it like a habit, like going to the gym, you start out a little hesitant, maybe with a little imposter syndrome, but eventually the habit itself will drive the action. You know, habits are a great unit of kind of behavioral change, and this has been proven. So to just change kind of your thinking around it and then to just get started, just dive in, say, for ten minutes. Trust yourself to do it.
There’s lots of research out there that handwriting is where it’s at, you know, that that has the highest benefit. I don’t quite agree, to be honest. I’ve had students or workshop participants for whom handwriting is a barrier. They’ve had negative experiences with it. It’s just not their place. So try, if it’s not working at first, I would advise anybody to change tack and try another approach.
An example here: I had a physician in a workshop last winter, and she, you know, she just was as busy as all of us nowadays—we’re all stretched. But she found that just recording a story in her phone really worked for her. And it was what, time-wise, she could put into her day. But the important part there is that, number one, we’re all wired for stories, you know. We’re all wired for the comfort that there is in stories. But number two, she could make it a habit. She could fit it right into her day. So if handwriting isn’t working, don’t worry. Try something else.
There are lots of apps out there and lots of websites where you can go in and write about your experience. The important part is again, to number one, think about it as a wellness habit you can build, like any other good habit, and number two, get started and just trust your own voice, trust your own words. And if handwriting or even a keyboard isn’t working for you, give it another try on another kind of format.
Kevin Pho: You mentioned that you lead these writing workshops. How do you guide participants to explore some of the more difficult emotions and get them to express that on a page, because sometimes it may be difficult to open up? So how do you guide participants in dealing with difficult emotions and feelings?
Aine M. Greaney: Well, like any other field, there are guidelines here, and I’ve taken some of the trainings and the guidelines. And the first thing you do is that you make sure you create a psychologically safe space. And you put up some boundaries, you know, some kind of framework within which they do it. One of the things that I do always is to make sure they know everything is a choice. It’s a choice to write. The other thing I do is no matter how much the university or the host or whoever they are is encouraging me, I do not let classes be recorded. Because if we don’t feel we have a sense of privacy, then we’re not as forthcoming.
And then the other thing that I do is that I do actually address this issue, the very issue you mentioned, Kevin. I address that up front, and I talk about the sad movie kind of syndrome. I say, we’ve all teared up at a sad movie or a sad documentary. But if there’s something somatic going on with you as you’re telling your story or you’re writing your story, then it’s time to put that keyboard or that pen away and go do a different method of self-care. Go for a walk, make yourself a cup of tea, play some music that you love, but definitely do not push past a place of hurt in the writing. And I’m a little bossy about that, to be honest, because the writing workshops are for wellness; they’re not for re-traumatization, you know, so I tend to be pretty, you know, forceful about that.
Kevin Pho: We’re talking to Aine M. Greaney. She’s a writer. Today’s KevinMD article is “Secret Support for This Family Caregiver.” Aine, we’ll end with some of your take-home messages that you want to leave with the KevinMD audience.
Aine M. Greaney: It would be to try writing as one of—just one of—your self-care approaches. Again, I’ll go against the grain here and say that personal writing can also be public. It’s not an either-or. There are journal pieces, as you know—because I wrote the piece for KevinMD—that started out as a journal entry. Some pieces lend themselves to public sharing, and there are many narrative medicine journals out there with wonderful editors who are as careful as I am in my workshops. They’re as careful with your story. And you never know where your story will help somebody else.
So depending on your comfort level, a piece can be 100 percent private that you write, a 10-minute piece, or it may be the start of a public-facing piece in a narrative medicine journal. And in that process, you’re sharing a story and you’re also moving out and joining a community of patients, providers, or caregivers who are sharing their stories—and whose story really may help somebody else.
Kevin Pho: Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and insight, and thanks again for coming on the show.
Aine M. Greaney: Thanks for having me, Kevin. I enjoyed it.
