If you’re a child of the ’90s, you know that Halloween season can’t truly kick off until you’ve watched the beloved 1993 cult classic Hocus Pocus at least a handful of times. Because regardless of whether or not you enjoyed the sequel, Hocus Pocus 2, on Disney+ (or whether you’re looking forward to Hocus Pocus 3, for that matter), the simple fact is that nothing can beat the original. From the catchy musical numbers to zany spell incantations, the Sanderson sisters know how to deliver high-quality entertainment to the masses. And the best part? You don’t have to be a kid to appreciate everything the film has to offer. In fact, there are actually several hidden adult jokes in Hocus Pocus that most likely went completely over your head as a kid but can make rewatching it all the more fun — if not somewhat traumatizing.
Believe it or not, Disney films have notoriously slipped in some very adult-skewed jokes and innuendo so subtle they manage to fly under the radar, leaving most kiddos utterly unaware that any inappropriate remark or punchline has even occurred. But as adults, you can easily detect some of those hidden gems, leaving you somewhat shocked that you’d never noticed them before. (Ahh, the innocence of youth!) And Hocus Pocus proves to be no exception to that rule. While the central premise of the film revolves around truly wicked — yet somehow lovable — sister witches, there are some genuinely great throwaway lines scattered throughout the movie that you can appreciate much better as an adult.
Check out the most noteworthy jokes below and let your mind run amok, amok, amok! Oh, and be prepared to feel a bit of secondhand embarrassment when you rewatch these moments with your kids this year.
1. The Horny Bus Driver
After being resurrected by the Black Flame Candle, Winifred, Sarah, and Mary Sanderson set out to find children in order to suck the youth out of their souls. (You know, just your average, run-of-the-mill Friday night plans.) But after being dead for 300 years, they’re a little unsure where to find said children. It’s here that they stumble across a bus driver who seems more than willing to help them out in more ways than one.
Winnie: “We desire children.”
Bus Driver: “Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don’t think that’d be a problem.”
Wow, way to misinterpret her request, my dude. Now, it doesn’t seem as though the Sanderson sisters (or many young viewers) fully understood the proposition he was presenting to them, but if you play back that dialogue in your mind, you’ll see this scene in a whole different light.
2. The Horny Bus Driver Part 2
During the short bus drive that the Sanderson Sisters take, Sarah sits on the bus driver’s lap — which, as an adult, you can see he enjoys a little too much. When they go to exit the bus, he laments that he didn’t get her phone number and asks if she wants his route schedule. “Oh, thou wouldst hate me in the morning,” she replies.
As a child, that line essentially meant nothing. Now, it’s easy to read between the lines to the fact they were talking about a very grown-up “sleepover”… and Sarah’s response is a variation on a classic, ahem, pre-sleepover question: “Will you still love me in the morning?”
3. The Yabos Of It All
It isn’t uncommon for little sisters to embarrass their big brothers, but Dani’s remarks to Max’s crush, Allison, take sibling embarrassment to the next level.
Dani: “Max likes your yabos. In fact, he loves them.”
It’s impossible to hear this term without thinking of this movie. Maybe you didn’t fully comprehend what Dani was referencing back in the day, but now it’s hard not to feel some serious sympathy for poor Max.
4. Any Virgin Reference
Looking back, did you honestly have any idea what a virgin was when watching this film? All you knew was that Max was one — hence why he was able to light the Black Flame Candle and kick this whole storyline into motion — and that every single character in the movie loved to remind him of that fact.
5. Jay & Ice’s Exploits
Sure, the Sandersons were the main villains of the story, given that they, you know, enjoy killing innocent children. However, they weren’t the only wrongdoers in the film. Jay and Ice were huge bullies to Max, even going so far as to steal his new shoes and Halloween candy. Yet their most cringe-inducing moment came much later when they were stuffed up on treats and tossing around ideas about what they could do next.
Jay: “You wanna look in windows and watch babes undress?”
As a kid, I don’t think I ever fully appreciated just how creepy and downright perverted that suggestion was. It definitely makes it harder to feel sorry for them after the Sanderson sisters trap them in those cages.
6. Sarah’s Raging Libido
This witchy woman was all about seducing young boys. Remember her response when they abducted Thackery Binx and Winnie asked for ideas of what they should do to him?
Sarah: “Hang him on a hook and let me play with him.”
She also mumbles a similar suggestion when they first encounter Max all those years later. Ma’am, you are 300 years old, and he is underage. Get a hold of yourself, please!
7. A Cannibalistic Burn
Winnie was always good at taking jabs at her sisters, but she proved she could also drop some pretty sick burns on her mortal enemies (aka children). One moment, in particular, sticks out after Max saves his sister Dani from their grasp, and Winnie becomes sad, thinking about all of the mean things Dani said to her during her kidnapping. Claiming her feelings were hurt by being called ugly, she wipes her nose on Sarah’s arm and states: “You know I’ve always wanted a child, and now I think I’ll have one — ON TOAST!”
8. Meeting “Master”
The Sandersons’ visit with the man they believe to be Satan turns out to be a scene chock-full of adult jokes and innuendo. When his wife discovers him dancing with Sarah in the living room, he says, “They call me master.” To which his wife replies, “Wait until you see what I’m gonna call you.” And, c’mon, that just hits different when you’re an adult who’s been married a minute!
Also in this scene, Winnie mistakes their kitchen for a “torture chamber,” Mary thinks a Clark bar is “the chocolate-covered finger of a man named Clark” (you’ll never see that candy bar the same again), and Sarah gets dubbed a “tart-face.”
