The day didn’t start well. I was going to be evicted for non-payment of rent and I had a fight with my girlfriend.
I said Why don’t you put the lids back on jars properly so they don’t come off when I pick them up?
She said You think you’re so political but it’s all just meaningless crap.
I said I don’t really think your paintings are any good, I just say that to make you feel ok.
She said Of all the people I’ve slept with you’re the most dull.
I said I wish we were both dead.
She said Goodbye.
I sat there a while. I sat there a long while.
Right, I said to myself, I’ll go out.
Walking down the street I checked my phone. I had an email telling me I’d got the job. I’d got the job. I wouldn’t be evicted. I’d begin to get somewhere.
I wanted to tell my girlfriend but I didn’t.
I kept on walking. The sun was out.
I decided to go and see my friend whose brother just died in an accident. He was on holiday in France and he fell off a roof.
I said Is it ok just turning up?
He said The thing is he’s in heaven.
Ok I said.
I don’t feel too bad he said because it must have been very quick and of course he’s in heaven now, he’s in bliss and he wasn’t when he was alive. And I do miss him but life’s quite short anyway so I’ll soon see him again.
Do you feel you’re in touch with him? I said.
Yes he said he’s watching over me just like when we were little and he was my big brother.
That’s great I said, that’s amazing.
Yes I’m surprised myself how ok it is he said.
I went on down the street. I saw a homeless man I sometimes give money to.
He said Hey good news. I’m getting housed. Not in a hostel, I’ve got a flat.
Very good news I said. How did that happen?
Haven’t you heard he said there’s a new government policy, get people off the streets by next week, double universal credit and build thousands of low-rent council flats. Oh and stop rich foreigners buying up places and not living in them.
I said What? Really?
Yes he said it’s a complete turnaround. Like the boats.
What’s with the boats? I said.
They’re going to let most people stay he said. They’ll have a proper system. I don’t know the detail but check it out. And I hate to ask he said but
So I gave him the change in my pocket and on I went.
My phone rang. Was it my girlfriend? No.
My friend said Guess what? About my brother.
What’s happened? I said.
Turns out he’s ok he said. He didn’t die at all.
I said Wow how that’s amazing news.
He said Yeah, seems he was just knocked out and his friends panicked and sent the wrong message, he just broke his leg but not badly, he’s completely fine.
I said So he’s not in heaven.
No he said but this is better.
Of course I said. You can both be in heaven later.
Exactly he said.
So the day was looking up. I went to the park. I liked the bare branches. The clouds and blue sky were rushing through.
I suddenly had one of those I can’t find words for it one of those moments of joy I suppose it is.
One of those.
They don’t last but they’re good when they happen.
I went to see my mother. I hadn’t been for a while and she’s not well. I didn’t mention about my girlfriend.
She said I’ve got some news. I had a scan result this morning and the cancer’s gone.
Gone? I said. Like in remission?
They said there’s no trace of it she said. It’s not at all likely to come back.
I gave her a hug. I picked up her favourite vase and waved it in the air and shouted.
She said Careful with that. She said Thinking about dying and my life I thought about ways I failed you.
I said You didn’t.
She said Of course I did. Like when you had chickenpox and I was working and you were looked after by the neighbour with the scary dog.
I said I wasn’t scared of the dog.
Well she said lots of small things and I’m sorry. Just let me know any time if you’re feeling wronged.
Thank you I said. I don’t expect I’ll need to.
I just thought I’d say she said.
We were having a cup of tea and a biscuit and the news was on.
The news said Israel had stopped bombing Gaza and pulled out of the West Bank. There was going to be a big reconciliation and a complete rethink.
I was speechless.
My mother said That’s another then.
What? What else? I said.
You must have heard about Ukraine she said. They’ve stopped fighting and they’re sorting it out. And I think there’s something about Darfur. Everyone seems to be changing their attitude she said. Like they’ve cancelled the poor countries’ debts. It’s a complete change in the world economy and we can stop worrying about the climate.
I nearly dropped my mug and I grabbed at it and my elbow caught the vase and it flew up in the air and I reached for it with my right hand but knocked it sideways and I went down low and knocked it up with my left hand and it went up in the air again and on its way down my mother caught it.
She said That was lucky because it’s really fragile. I love that vase.
By the time I got home it was getting dark. I missed my girlfriend. She was the one I wanted to talk to about all the things that were happening. I picked up the phone and she walked in the door.
She said I’m sorry.
I said No I’m sorry.
She said I just get upset and say stuff.
I said I do like your paintings really.
She said I know they’re not good, I just like doing them.
I said I like looking at them.
She said And obviously I love making love with you.
I said I don’t want to die after all and who cares about the lids of jars?
Why don’t we just get married and have kids? she said.
I said Yes. I said I was thinking that too.
Later on I said But what about –?
We’ll work it out she said.
I said ok.
So it turned out to be quite a good day.
David Salle, Angels in the Rain, 1998
Courtesy of DACS
