'It's seen as taboo' – Oxford United's Vaulks urges those struggling to talk


Oxford United’s Will Vaulks has urged people to get the help they need following the death of both of his grandparents to suicide.

For World Mental Health Day, Will was joined by Luke Beauchamp – the brother of Oxford great Joey – and Sharon Badger, whose son took his own life in September.

Will was 13 when his grandfather, Tom, took his own life. Just 15 months later, tragedy hit the family again when his paternal grandfather, Hywel, also took his own life.

Will Vaulks with his grandfather, Tom
Image:
Will Vaulks with his grandfather, Tom

“They were both amazing grandparents,” said Will.

“Grandad Hywel was really kind and gentle, and had all the time in the world. Grandad Tom was more boisterous, he let us misbehave. He drove a red motorcycle that I’ll never forget sitting on the back of.”

Will Vaulks with his paternal grandfather Hywel
Image:
Will Vaulks with his paternal grandfather, Hywel

Joey Beauchamp played more than 400 times for Oxford. He took his own life aged 50. His brother, Luke, found him.

“I had an arrangement with Joey at the time because he was struggling so much,” said Luke.

“I would message him or ring him most days, and if he didn’t reply to me – I had a key to his house – I’d give him a few opportunities to reply. If he didn’t, I would go round there and let myself in and unfortunately on that day I found him there.”

Luke Beauchamp (centre left) is the brother of Oxford United great Joey Beauchamp (right)
Image:
Luke Beauchamp (centre left) is the brother of Oxford United great Joey Beauchamp (right)

Sharon’s son, Jack, took his own life in September aged 24.

“Jack was such a lovely guy, everyone’s friend, everyone loved him. Mad into his football and everyone’s hero,” said Sharon.

“How did I not see the signs? I’m his mother. I should know everything about him.

“He’s my little boy, there must have been signs. I could have stopped it; I could have protected him.”

  • 1 in 5 people have suicidal thoughts
  • 1 in 15 people attempt suicide
  • 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England
  • 1 in 5 children currently experience a mental health problem
  • In 2023, there were 5656 suicides registered in England and Wales, and around three-quarters of suicides registered in 2022 were males
  • Males aged 45-49 years were found to have the highest suicide rate

Source: Mind

Will is an ambassador for the Baton of Hope – the UK’s largest suicide prevention initiative.

“Suicide is still seen as taboo, so nobody wants to talk about it,” he said.

“It’s a completely different grief, it needs more help because there are so many questions – we have questions that will never be answered.

“We need to stop suicide being the answer – it can never be the answer. We need to get people to speak to the right people at the right time.”

You are not alone

  • Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide – 0300 111 5065
  • Samaritans – 116 123
  • Mind – 0300 123 3393
  • Anxiety UK – 03444 775 774
  • CALM – 0800 58 58 58
  • Text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258

Following Joey’s death, his family created the Joey Beauchamp Foundation which aims to address the need for mental health support and awareness within the community.

“I wish I’d said to him that I was proud of him, or that I loved him,” said Luke.

“Have I spoken about it as much as I probably should have done? No, but that’s something that I’m still dealing with.

“It was devastating, it still is and it’s something that has changed our lives forever.”

The trio were speaking at the Kassam Stadium as part of Oxford United’s ‘Can We Talk?’ campaign in partnership with the Joey Beauchamp Foundation and Oxfordshire Mind.

Working together, the three organisations will soon launch free mental health workshops to empower the local community with tools to understand and support mental health.

“I’ve spoken to numerous suicide survivors and how they realised that life does get better,” said Will.

“Ring a charity, ring Samaritans, speak to people who love you or people you don’t know. That’s where it starts. Get the help you need.”

If you have been affected by any of the themes raised in this article, you can contact The Samaritans for free by calling 116 123 in the UK.



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