The last time I spoke to Paralympic triathlete Melissa Stockwell, she was training for the Tokyo games with a broken back and a bruised pelvis. Doctors told her she was lucky: the three back fractures happened to be in “the best place” and wouldn’t require surgery. Still, the bike accident had severely affected her ability to train. So when she ultimately came in fifth at Tokyo, she celebrated despite not medaling.
“I was overcome with joy today as I ran to the finish,” she tweeted at the time. “I felt like I had won the race & soaked in the moment with every step.”
Anyone who knows Stockwell’s story — her tenacity and toughness, grit and gratitude — probably wasn’t surprised by such a powerful and gracious finish. They probably also aren’t surprised to know that she will compete once again at the Paris Paralympic Games on September 1.
Before Stockwell was a mom of two (Dallas, 9 and Millie, 7) living in Colorado, she was a first lieutenant in the 1st Cavalry Division of the United States Army. In 2004, her left leg was amputated above the knee after a roadside bomb threw her vehicle into a guardrail, making her the first female soldier to lose a limb in the Iraq War. Just four years later, however, she was the first Iraq War veteran to represent the United States at the Paralympics in Beijing, where she competed in swimming.
“Sports is just such a big avenue for anyone, but especially somebody with a disability,” she says of choosing to compete. “After losing a leg, finding out that I could still be an athlete, not only that, I could be a Paralympian, I could compete on the world’s biggest athletic stage, wear a Team USA uniform. As a young kid, I had dreamt of going to the Olympics, and that obviously never happened, so it was like I had a second chance and wanted to see what I could do.”
She returned in 2016, this time as a triathlete, and took bronze in Rio. Paris will be her fourth Paralympics, and now that she’s made a full recovery from her accident, training is a bit easier, but still not easy with two young children.
“It’s a juggling act,” Stockwell admits. “Especially in the summer. Schedules are often all very up in the air. Summer camps are key. But if kids are sick, what do you do? And so we’re in the same boat as other families with two full-time working parents for sure.”
The juggle, however, is worth it, not just because of the deep personal satisfaction Stockwell gets from competition but for the example she feels she’s setting for her children and fellow parents.
“My kids are old enough now, they see mommy has a goal and dreams big … and the hope is that they see that and they do that on their own someday,” she says. “I’m also a proud 44-year-old and I’m a proud mother of two. I’m trying to get out there and show other parents ‘you can do this.’”
Unlike in Tokyo, when Covid restrictions meant no friends and family could accompany athletes as spectators, Stockwell will enjoy a hearty cheering section this year, led by son Dallas and daughter Millie.
“They’re so excited,” she says. “I don’t know if they quite know what to expect, how big and how grand it’s going to be, but they know that I’ve been training for this.”
Her other biggest fans are fellow members of Team USA, and the feeling is very much mutual. Every morning, she explains, they have breakfast together and then go off and spend the day training. The precise regimen varies (“I think parenting sets you up for you have to just be fluid”), but usually involves at least three hours of hard training at the pool, in the gym, and on the road.
“They’re my second family,” she says fondly. “I spend so much time with them. We motivate each other. We push each other. We’re there for each other’s ups and downs. We all want each other to succeed. We get to that starting line, and we want to win, but I’m truly happy for my teammates when they do well also.”
Ultimately, though, Stockwell isn’t just swimming, biking, and running for her family, or her team, or even her country.
Stockwell at the 2023 World Para Triathlon in Paris. (Fun fact: she bikes without a prosthetic to improve her aerodynamics.
EMMANUEL DUNAND/AFP/Getty Images
“Honestly, [I also] want to prove to myself that I can still do that and I can still get out there with the younger ones,” she says. “And then, if that inspires anyone else that they can do it too, that’s pretty awesome.
“I think we [mothers] don’t give ourselves enough credit for what we can do. I think, a lot of times, a parent, a mom, will be like, ‘Oh, there’s no way I could have the time for that. But you find time in the day for what fills your cup and makes you you. You can do it … and I think it honestly makes you a better parent.”
